Cope-ing With The Environment

The focus of almost the entire world has been on the capital of Denmark this week (for the first time ever) because our leaders came to the realisation that the Kyoto agreement wasn't really working. Despite this though things have been far less than harmonious. So for entertainment value, and to learn some serious things about how not to conduct diplomacy, I've picked my top three d'oh moments from the summit.

1. Breakdown - It's Monday 14th December, talks have been in play for a week, and things have been going seemingly well. Then all that ends as the least developed countries walk out of the conference, silenced for 24 hours, as they felt their interests were not being recognised. They have a point, after all the Kyoto Agreement was signed by the 'biggest hitters' around and yet little has been done. This started a steady breakdown of negotiations, so that the final agreement, being scrambled together now, will most definitely be a political statement as opposed to a legally binding document. As described by the Lesotho Prime Minister Pakalitha Mosili "To say we're disappointed is indeed an understatement, particularly that after 24 months of hard negotiations and the intensive deliberations of this conference, an agreement could not be reached on a legally-binding regime."
2. Oh Cameron - Since a general election is most definitely in the works at this minute it has reached the stage where The Opposition must mirror, or better, whatever the PM is up to. Unfortunately for Cameron however he couldn't very well head off to Copenhagen in hot pursuit of GB. Therefore, the Conservatives decided that now was the time to announce that they would give 14 councils grants for energy efficient houses. However, while announcing it Cameron decided it would be a good idea to suggest that the message about Climate Change lightened up - "If we make the answer to climate change sound like sitting in a dark room with a big woolly pullover on, with the heating turned down, with our teeth chattering and being miserable, then we're never going to sell it to anybody." So the breakdown of our atmosphere is too miserable for people to worry about. That's not the status of the message that's the problem, it's the status of the people.
3. Protest - Every big conference comes with protest, today that is an accepted principle. However, in the case of Copenhagen the protests have rather overshadowed the summit itself. From The Wave to the protests outside the summit itself the protests have shown that the voice of the people is as strong as and more powerful than that of those leading them. It also showed how revolutionary the summit could have been.

So there you are that's my roundup of the calamity that was the Copenhagen Summit 2009. Whether or not it will have any long lasting effect remains to be seen

A New Bout Of Health

In the US healthcare is a major issues. I kinda described it in Obama's report card but it's one that is so embedded in US culture that it's like an Onion - there are a lot layers. For me there are three things that cause so many varying ideas, and give Obama such a very hard job:

1. Race
2. Geographical Location
3. The American Dream

When you chuck those three things in a mixing bowl, which America is, then you come out with a whole load of heated contradictions and views. But most of all you get a huge sense of fear, displayed most prominently by the Washington Tea Party. When people march about something that their not even that sure what it even is then you know things have got bad, and that's how bad it got in September this year for some more conservative groups. So in this climate it's kinda hugely majorly impressive to be able to get your relatively radical healthcare bill over even the first hurdle. And that is exactly what Obama has done by getting his health bill approved by the House of Representatives, who'd been doing rather a lot of stalling before this. Get that haters!

(it does have to be said that there are still many hurdles to jump)

Thatcher Dead?

On Friday 13th November Thatcher Died.

No, no not Lady Thatcher!
The cat of the same name owned by Canadian Transport Minister John Baird, that then got bulleted around the world and reported by a number of reputable news agencies.
And as the guy who received the text pointed out "If the cat wasn't dead, I'd have killed it by now."

Thanks for clearing that up!

Going 'Nutts'

Ok first off I would like to state I wasn't even aware until a few weeks ago that there was a fully fledged drugs advisory board that was in almost constant use. It kinda explains a lot. So the latest big, official, reported-by-the-Telegraph controversy for Brown to have to climb the mountain of was the sacking of one of the members of this board, namely Professor David Nutt:

At the ripe old age of 17 I've been exposed to a whole load of PSHE lessons, and with this comes a whole load of drug education. The nurse at my particular college became near hysterical when giving us our annual little 'chat' about drugs. Clearly she agrees with the Government's reclassification of Cannabis (or if you're into that sort of thing skunk/weed/I'm not really sure of any others...). More liberal visitors to our school have then talked about how maybe reclassification came as a result of limited hysteria. The science teachers, none of whom have roles in the PSHE department it must be noted, taught us that no one really knows about Cannabis, although 'E' or Ecstasy was avoided at GCSE level. The whole thing is a bit of a mess really.

A bit of a mess is exactly what this sacking implies. Anybody who's been employed/employed someone/watched a crime drama/watched Casualty will be quite aware that sacking people just because they have said something that doesn't follow your line on the issue isn't really the democratic way to do things, particularly when that person knows more about the issue than you do. In fact to me (and this maybe because of my over exposure to them at A Level) it has smatterings of the dictatorships of Europe in the early 20th Century. Somehow I don't think that's the look Gordy was going for. But then again, controversy about drugs is cool: every western politicians association-of-choice Obama did it so it must be!

Wild Things

Earlier this week a whole bunch of 'hoodies' (i.e. teenagers) became the next generation to enter and debate in the House Of Commons. In case that doesn't sound like a big deal it is the first time ever that non-MPs have been allowed to enter the chamber and debate. Obviously the whole thing had a slightly different spin to normal parliamentary procedure: issues debated included tuition fees and the voting age - serious issues relevant to the members themselves and their contemporaries (and no wonder - it's the whole point of a representative to represent the views of their 'electorate'). Basically, things got a whole lot more back to basics, with the member's taking their roles very seriously and literally, and applauding one another at the end of their speeches. On top of this things had a humorous and warm feeling, with older MPs and press taking the event seriously for once.

I personally have a lot of props for this event. I think it's cool to draw politics into the attention of young people as it's become a blase subject, all about personalities and cheats. Events like this follow the same vein that the election of Barack Obama did - it gives hope, a refresh, the possibility of politics having a different face. But most of all it shows all those politicians who never meet young people like us it shows that we're not all 'hoodies', that that's a minority who they've propelled into the consciousness of the ignorant. Teenagers have class. Teenagers have brains. Oh and we've got a whole heap of cool.

Expensive Expenses Extended

So the seemingly long awaited review of MPs expenses finally happened. With a whole lot of embarrassment being heaped on the parties over this issue of late the leaders have been panicking a little bit: there's a rapidly incoming election up for grabs after all. So let's just briefly outline what's actually changed:

1. The bill that would make it able to use MPs words against them in a court of law was defeated. This is a good thing cos reducing MPs free speech (that's what this would've inevitably done) can only be negative. Point proven by the fact it was those good ol' rebels who pushed this through.
2. Only one of the three criminal offences proposed for MPs went through. The only thing that they can newly be prosecuted for is for providing false information about expenses claims. The other two were deemed inappropriate and already covered by fraud legislation.
3. An IPSA (independent parliamentary standards authority) was formed but without the power to demand MPs pay money back.

Overall, the rules have changed boys and girls! Our MPs will now be able to claim far less than before. This is a good thing, but also a kinda inevitable thing. The controversy has come from the fact that some of the MPs who have previously broken the 'new' rules will have to pay back extensive amounts of money on these claims. This has created overall uproar and some MPs are threatening to take the government to court. So the expenses row is far from over with MPs now playing the victims in a weird twist of fate. Will anyone buy it? Well you know politicians - always the most trustworthy of individuals!

Noble Nobel

Obama has just gone and won the Noble Peace Prize for 2009!
Why?

For "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples"

And Nobel have a point. Obama has used his fire power to draw attention to international issues, in a way that no other leader has. He has given the whole world hope, because of the monumental achievement he represents for American diplomacy and democracy. Primarily Nobel wanted

"to support what he is going to do"

So I'll be the first to say congrats Prez and keep up the great work.

This Past Week

This week has been kinda busy in the world of politics and my own narcissistic one. Cos of that I couldn't quite keep up (you may have noticed). So, instead, I'm gonna do a totally retro news round-up! (Maybe it's not worth an exclamation point level of excitement but heyho who's complaining?!

Numero Uno:
General Assemblies are fun aren't they? Well they are if you're name begins with G and ends with addafi. The Libyan leader launched into a 1.5 hour lecture on the first day of the meeting of world leaders. Although the rest of the world has now affirmed their feelings that he is, well, nuts Gaddafi did manage to garner nearly as many international press inches as Obama. Ramblings of a dictator mad with power or clever PR pitch? You decide (me personally I'm gonna go for a bit of both.)

Other highlights included G-Obama's virtual hug for the rest of the world, performed using his trademark charisma and slick vocal talents. Brownie also did Britain rather proud, sounding like the blunt and dignified leader he could so easily be. His speech, notably, was very different in both material and message than Obama's, which quite frankly makes a-freakin' change. Carla Bruni, of course, provided the glamour for the event.

Numero Dos
The annual conferences of the major party's of the Great British isles started! The Lib Dems recycled the Conservative conference of last year, but with far less impact - it was notable that they got fewer column inches than last year even though they're in a far stronger position. Sarah Brown passionately, and rather movingly, defended her husband - finally giving him a human face. And that great political commentator The Sun changed alliances. Luckily, G Brown had the sense to realise how un-bothered by this he really should be. And as they say in all great and predictable cliffhangers....tbc.

Just Keep Rollin' On

So, you thought these two were buddies eh?

Well, that might just be wrong. Earlier this week Darling suggested that Labour "has lost the will to live" (the rest of the world thought it went missing a while ago). GB hasn't exactly had the best premiership he could have wished for: recession and the expenses controversy have kind of ruined any chance of that. However, it is the Cabinet behind him that have appeared, at best, incompetent. Much of the post-recession initiatives were not introduced by Darling but by former chancellor Brown. Lord Mandelson had to be drafted in, in what was essentially a life-raft type action. And one of the few women to have stuck it out, Harriet Harman, was directly implicated in the expenses scandal forcing Gordy to have to make excuses on her behalf. So with a little thing called a conference just a few days, that Cabinet is going to have to have a serious talking to from boss man. And seriously, what happened to teamwork?!

If you can't beat them, nuke them

What do you do if your presidential predecessor set up a plan for a new missile facility? A facility widely supported in the U.S. because national defence should be the priority. A facility that represents the animosity of the rest of the world to the U.S's wide use of nuclear weapons. A facility considered by the Russians as in their back yard (because Poland to the Russians is just Russia on a freedom holiday). And you're trying to push through a rather controversial healthcare bill.

Well you scrap it of course!

Yes Obama has decided to keep on detoxing the White House of the Bush era. First off, the prez is perfectly aware that relations with Russians are a tad important - the Cold War anyone?! Also, he's a Liberal. And a good proper liberal Liberal, and therefore by definition he can't like nuclear weapons. There are a multitude of other reasons for a change of US heart. Maybe Obama is a Yoko Ono fan and would like a free concert. Maybe he's got a bit of a retro flower power vibe going on atm. But really it's probably cos later on this week the UN General Assembly is taking place - somehow I don't think the timing is accidental. B.O. is, at heart, just a politician after all. PR opps are in his blood.

But then again maybe, just maybe, this is suggesting big things for the US. And maybe Obama just shot them a hoop.

In Remembrance

Don't Forget.

Progress Report

End Of year 8 Months Report

The biggest speech of the year happened this week and no I'm not talking Kanye and Taylor! I'm thinking more along the lines of the whole joint meeting of the houses thing that Obamarama has been up to. In this early part of his term Obama has had to face many trials including the economy, healthcare reform and an internationally mortifying climate change policy. No wonder all the assessments of his first year have....hang on! Obama is only 8 months into his first year! Why on earth are pundits assessing his first year now?! Well I believe it is because of two vital things:

1. Timing
2. The political stance of your given critic journalist

First off is the obvious issue of timing. Obama is facing his biggest challenge yet, with healthcare not only dividing the houses, but his own party too. Cries of socialist can be heard almost every day (if you're a Brit this would be the moment to point out that accusing someone of being a socialist in the U.S. is probably worse than being a Fascist). Following huge compromise on both the economy and climate change bills (huge if you're a politician anyways) many Obamarites believe he should stand firm on healthcare. However, accusations from the conservative part of his liberal party (confusing I know) claim his policies will fail because they are too similar to our, obviously terrible, NHS. This leads me onto the journalists themselves. If you are at all Republican you will have published your obituary of Obama's first year at least two weeks ago now (and yes I mean obituary). If you're leaning the conservative way then you will have published a cautionary - to Obama - progress report in the past week. And everyone else is jumping on the bandwagon right about now.

The issue with all of this is that when it actually is the end of Obama's first year they'll all be running dry on fresh ammo. But that doesn't really matter as I am of the opinion the Right is gambling on the fact that Obama's position may well have improved by the end of the year. Which means that the journo's are, indeed, kicking a man when he's down. So worthy! So noble!

As for the notoriously liberal Rolling Stone's August issue? Quite frankly it's just pretty.

Prediction or Predicament?

We've been doing this recession thing for a while now (a whole year). During that time everyone has obviously been wondering when it'll all be over. This has led to a whole series of predictions, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous:

• At the beginning of the end of the world (recession) fear-mongering was the word of the day, and only the bravest of forecasters tentatively cast out dates usually within the 2012 range
• However, when things started getting a whole lot better (I'm thinking March of this year) some commentators started loudly declaring that 'it could all be over by Christmas' - sound familiar much?!
• Most recently the figure 2010 has been chucked around although not without warning; there will be a high risk of relapse, or so they say

But now this man has joined in:

The country's most popular/most hated current chancellor. Oh what fun a monopoly is! Jumping on the bandwagon he has predicted we will be out of the sorry mess "round the turn of the year" (oh the accuracy is so reassuring btw). This is a dangerous move for a number of reasons. First off, despite being Chancellor, Darling doesn't really have the creds to make such a seismic prediction under his own name Secondly, the tide of events during this series of predictions have shown that if you get it wrong (and in some cases badly wrong) you'll be drawn to the slaughter. Tick 'General Election - it's been 4 years' Tock. So, a bit of advice Darling. Leave it to those without an election to lose to forecast such controversial things.

RIP

On August 25 2009 a death shook America. For many this was vastly more important than the death a few months earlier of Charlie's Angel Farrah Fawcett. For some it even overshadowed that of King of Pop Michael Jackson. It was the end of a legacy that made waves in American politics. A man who was, according to Obama, "the greatest Senator of our time". It was, of course, the passing of Edward "Teddy" Kennedy. Named the 'Liberal Lion' Kennedy was a Liberal heavyweight for more than 4 decades, with great involvement in democratic presidencies, particularly those of Clinton and the election of Obama. With the short term affects being the nomination of a intermittent MA Senator, Kennedy's legacy is likely to last.

RIP

Inspiraton

I have two words for you in this moment: Sonia Sotomayor

She's the third female Supreme Court Justice and she represents the first Hispanic justice (a big step for American Democracy) in history. She even represents a much needed victory for Obama in this moment. But it is not these landmark facts that make Sotomayor an inspiration for me. Sotomayor grew up in the Bronx, a borough of New York City now known for it's poverty and primarily black and Hispanic population. Her father did not even speak English and both parents worked largely vocational jobs. Sotamayor herself has type 1 diabetes. However, in 1976 she graduated Princeton with a major in history and then graduated Yale law in 1979. She was admitted to the New York Bar in 1980 from which she rose through the ranks, being nominated to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit by Bill Clinton in 1997. Finally, earlier this year President Barack Obama nominated her for a seat in the Supreme Court, to which she was promoted almost entirely uninhibited.

For me, Sotomayor truly proves the point of never giving up or letting where you started off stand in your way. It was beyond unlikely that a Latino woman from the Bronx would attend Princeton and yet she got there. The fact she followed this with Yale Law is even more incredible. But to end up making history in the Supreme Court is a true achievement that Maria fought her whole life for. If there was ever a simple and ideal representation of the American Dream, for me, this would be it.

En Vogue

Twats. Tweets. Twits. Whatever you wanna call them Twitter is obviously big news these days, particularly with the slightly older generation (and celebrities). Obama, ever the trendsetter, started using the service for his election campaign in '08, although he notably failed to use it for several months following election. However, it is in UK politics where, over the last few weeks, Twitter has become a bit of a trend. David Cameron (now notoriously) commented on it. It became the centre of the we love the NHS campaign. And most absurdly of all, Gordy just appointed his very own Twitter Tsar in the form of Labour MP Kerry McCarthy.

First of all I'm gonna have to mention that Tsar seems to be Gordy's favourite word and that if you're an MP on the hunt for a job.... But on a more serious note I respect that our Government is using new media to access us. However, Obama doesn't have a chief adviser for Twitter affairs. Do we really need an appointed official to handle this job? Especially one with Kerry's CV. Here are some highlights:

"A qualified solicitor, she began her legal career in the late 1980s working at a magistrates’ court and a Legal Aid firm, but then moved to work in the corporate/banking sector and became a specialist in financial markets law"

She's a lawyer. She's probably a very good lawyer. And she's probably a great specialist in financial markets law as mentioned. Financial Markets and Technology go hand in hand right? Nope I don't see it either.

" In the June 2009 reshuffle she was made a Junior Whip"

Aha. She is clearly popular in the party as she is climbing up the ranks. And, ok, popularity is a useful tool. But still, no mention of technology. And finally:

"Kerry's main policy areas of interest are: the economy; tackling poverty; international aid and trade; transport; and crime and justice."

Technology? Nope. Computer Science? Nope. Development of our information infrastructure? Not even that. And twitter? Most certainly not. So we have a Twitter Tsar without any seeming qualifications. But no! There is but one - that she tweets at the most annoying rate known to man. Great, my faith is so totally restored. I'll stick to good old fashioned ministers myself.

The Patriot

So I'm back on the whole subject of criticising, 'cept this time it's the government as a whole. I know, it's getting old, but they just keep on doing it!

We all love to criticise Gordy and co. in fact, it's pretty much a daily activity for most of us, and one of our most favouritest things to moan on about is the NHS. According to most Brits our healthcare system is useless, GP's are fat, untrained pigs and MRSA has spread beyond control. The majority of us fail to recognise that the thousands of immigrants into our country (something we also like to harp on about) seem to find this 'useless' system really rather appealing.

Now, excuse me if we hop across the pond for a minute. One of Obama's key selling points since the very beginning of his campaign for office (way back in 2006!) has been his promise to radically reform the increasingly flawed US healthcare system. This, however has yet to happen. Since us Brits are considered experts on universal healthcare many have been asked to comment, so as to *ahem* assist the Americans. This is where this man comes in:

This is Daniel Hannan MEP, a tory who has now been described by CamCam as "eccentric" due to derogatory comments he made about the NHS on US television. He has since been described as "unpatriotic" and it's been suggested he should be punished for his comments. But it's here that we come to the issue; namely if Hannan had said what he had said on UK television he may well have been applauded. Because, however, he chose American media as his forum he is an embarrassment to our country. It's a dreadfully British concept that you can criticise all you want in the privacy of your own country but as soon as you venture elsewhere then you are being jolly uncivil (particularly when you embarrass us in front of those damned Yanks). And so this is the full circle which we have formed. We communicate openly with the Americans, as long as communication involves smiles and a pat on the back. But talking about failure? Now that is not an option. A very 'special' relationship indeed.

Stoopid

Obama's first 100 days have been long over, so surely all the major PR crises are over right? Wrong. The ever popular Prez can, believe it or not, make mistakes as he very clearly did this week in reference to the arrest of a popular (and African-American) Harvard professor, arrested after local witnesses believed him to be forcing entry, into what turned out to be his own home. The professor himself accused the local cops of racism and Obama commented that

"The Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home."

However, the controversy emerged because Obama put the arrest in the context of

"the long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately".

As Obama is clearly now a key representative of African-American issues, many have been waiting for a racial incident such as this to emerge, so as to see how the President would react. Would he be impartial or write a rap about it? (O.k. so stereotypes to the extreme and that but you get the deal). Would ghettObama find his way out? Most of all would racial issues be his downfall being the sensitive subject matter they are? Since the hesitation of many white voters in the '08 election was a fear of 'blacks coming first' (however unjustified, ignorant and a bit American (!) that may be) if Obama tipped the balance even slightly the reaction could well be uproar. Luckily however the man knows when he needs to save the situation. He curtly and carefully commented

"Because this has been ratcheting up and I obviously helped to contribute ratcheting it up, I wanted to make clear in my choice of words I think I unfortunately gave an impression that I was maligning the Cambridge Police Department or Sgt Crowley specifically"

And with that BO dug himself out of his very deep hole.

All Animals Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others

So Gordon Brown has become the laughing stock of the media, especially since his government has pretty much come undone. He is a figure of mockery, and a focal point of satirical comedy, not least using his physical flaws. Jeremy Clarkson has become known for his controversial, sometimes even dangerous remarks, usually resulting in pleased fans and outraged opposers. These two elements have not married well. Last year they married to create a PR crisis for Clarkson when he called the PM a "one-eyed Scottish idiot", and subsequently was forced to apologise. Lesson learned right?

Uhhh no. When discussing public policy Clarkson said "The reason you can't do that is because Gordon Brown is a ----." The ---- refers to c*nt case you were wondering. As the Telegraph put it the "four-letter swear word generally considered to be the most offensive in the English language" (LOL). No apology has been issued yet, but Clarkson did get a good talking to by one of the producers following the show. However, I have an issue with this. Yes indeed the word used by Clarkson is a very offensive one, but it is one that has been used by many a comedian to describe our PM. Similarly, the remark was made during a not-for-broadcast section of the show, in front of an adult audience who, presumably, have at least some level of understanding of Clarkson's humour and are most likely to be fans of it. And, although mainstream media may not use that specific word to describe Brown, it is generally the implication that he is absolutely useless, such is his reputation degraded and dirtied. And that is why that infamous quote from Animal Farm is the title of this entry. In the end, isn't Clarkson just vocalising general opinion? And doesn't he have a right to say what he will in the situation he was in?

The Biggest Quitter

So the former almost-VP/future almost-Prez/possible 2010 Senator/ (and most importantly) Governor of Alaska Ms Sarah Palin just quit the latter role. Her vague reasoning culminated in her blaming the media's poor coverage of herself putting too much pressure on her family. It's notable that for once though, the media have not lied. Every item about Sarah Palin has been fuelled by something she or her family has done or said or been investigated for. The fact that the adding of SP to McCain's ticket was a blatant grab for headlines by the GOP last August, when his far more charismatic, youthful and inspiring opponent was getting over 75% of the election as a wholes media coverage, wasn't discussed. The fact that her, now famously, teen mom daughter has taken it upon herself to group with stars such as Hayden Pannetiere to promote sex education (and thus grab headlines) was not discussed either. Most notably, whether Palin will run for that useful Senate seat (useful because that's where most Prez's come from) or for the top office in 2010 (she's already said she could pip Obama to the post) was absolutely not discussed. In fact most of the questions people wanted to ask SP were not discussed. With so many questions left unanswered Sarah Palin remains headline news, and with 2010 heralding the arrival of both Senate elections and the beginning of the Presidential Election campaign, the next year could be a big one for the Hockey Mom from Alaska. What'll happen to this, ahem, shy wallflower? Only time will tell....

Honestly I haven't a clue

So it's been a few weeks since the expenses row emerged, and the storm has pretty much blown over (for now). The only notable action to address these issues, so far, has been based on individual MPs, most significantly our Shadow Chancellor, a certain Mr Osborne, is being investigated by the Parliamentary Standards Commission. It's interesting that he was dogged in by his constituency's Labour Party leader. Petty playground politics? Time will tell.


Two pieces of legislation this week attempted to inject some much needed honesty into British Political life.

1. Parliamentary Standards Bill (edit) - MPs rejected at first the bill that proposed that, as a way of removing some of the expenses controversy, their words, as spoken in Parliament, could be used as evidence in court. Since honesty has never been particularly fashionable among MPs the bill was immediately rejected, with backbenchers including Margaret Beckett, rebelling against their party. However, other features such as the creation of an Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority, were widely supported. Although this does seem kinda fun and helpful it also appears that this has all happened before (*cough* Parliamentary Standards Commission *cough*). The bill got passed once Parliamentary Privilege (the whole court thing) was restored.


2. Disclosing Second Jobs - Since MPs love money even more than the rest of us, second jobs are another way of raking even more in. However, remember these peeps are supposed to be representing us, and our interests, in Parliament. If there off being an accountant I doubt they're considering your local hospital, in that particular Parliamentary debate, or in that committee. On Wednesday 1st July, however, MPs voted in favour of a bill suggesting they declare outside interests. How coincidentally good for their images! However, it is not yet a criminal offence for them to not declare.

So there you go. Honesty is (sort of) the best policy - especially if you're trying to win reelection. However, I somehow doubt it'll pay off, unless something even more controversial happens to the Tories, and that is gonna be hard. Time to start digging Gordy.

Speak Up

So I'm a bit behind on this but even so I would just like to point out one thing:


I was SO right!


John Bercow is, of course, our new speaker. He's 46 so the youngest we've had in recent times but pretty much his life's work has led up to this. Let's examine:

1. Bercow began his political life in the ultra-right wing group the Monday Club. Controversially, the group, at this time, supported the repatriation of Immigrants. Bercow became secretary for the committee based on this issue, despite still being a teenager. He left the group due to an increasing level of racism. Significantly, Bercow is the son of a Jewish taxi driver
2. At the University of Essex he took charge of the Conservative Student Association and subsequently the FCS, graduating in Government (he got a first and everything!
3. He then ran in two general elections, became a South London councillor, and a deputy leader on the Tory group on Lambeth council. Finally, in 1992, he landed a job in the Commons with Jonathan Aitken (as a special adviser - boo).
4. However, Aitken was arrested, Bercow moved on to another member of Major's dying government, and in '96 he became the Member for the Conservative safe seat of Buckingham. Phew.
5. A skilled orator he was originally seen as a staunch Thatcherite. However, in the 1999-2001 Bercows political stance completely changed, with him almost turning his back on his own party and background. It is this that explains both his Labor support and Tory adversity.

Due the change in his stance front bench politics for his party quickly became out of the question for Bercow. It was in 2005 that he turned his thoughts to the job of speaker. He is, indeed, controversial, primarily due to the lack of support from his own party. But this is very different from the universal tide of opinion based on Michael Martin. Bercow has a big mouth, and it may well be that in the centrist political world of today, a big mouth is very much needed. As always though kids, we'll see...

Pour some sugar on me

Please don't. If you didn't get what I'm referring to here I'll tell you now that Sugar, namely Sir Alan Sugar, is the key to this entry. One of Gordy's most flashy additions to the Cabinet in this months reshuffle was to pour some Sugar (Sir Allan Sugar) onto it. Or rather to make him Enterprise Tsar. Supposedly this was due to a new drive to increase entrepreneurship, and since Sir Allan has just a bit of experience in this, he was the candidate they, ahem, hired. Some cynical bloggers have speculated that perhaps this was to cover up the fact that the cabinet didn't actually shuffle all that much. No comment. But it is kinda notable that if you remove the resignations the faces look remarkably similar. Did they invest in masks?

The controversy surrounding this appointment, however, did not address the terrible apprentice jokes that were subsequently adopted by the world's media, but rather the fact that under BBC rules presenters must be politically impartial. Ok so fair enough I see why the presenter of Question Time may need to be as impartial as possible. But politicos appear on the BBC all the time and since when was politics, other than those minute office ones, mentioned on the Apprentice. It rather seems that since the Tories were the first to flag up any issue this may rather be a cynical attempt to discredit the reshuffle ever further, describing the move as "completely incompatible". It is notable that Sugar, a high profile figure, has now had to defend his seemingly neutral post multiple times.

The issue I have is not Sugars innocence or not. If you want my opinion of the man himself watch the latest Have I Got News For You and Paul Merton's 'creative' impersonation. What I do have a bit of a grate about is the extension of the mud slinging culture ever since the expenses row. Since all the parties currently in Parliament have lost their "innocence" they've had to reduce their accusations to ever more personal levels. And who's actually been doing the whole politics thing? As it turns out it's Gordy. Sir Allan has also been able to keep both jobs. So maybe that celebrity cover up was a good idea after all.

Reformations

Gordy just announced he will not hold a referendum on the issue of electoral reform. Boo is all I can say. Silly, silly Gordy ignore Camcam's criticisms!!

Update: The new constitutional reform will curb the powers of the party whips meaning that MPs will be able to act as individuals again - yay!

Shuffle for your life

So it's reshuffle week! It's been coming for a while but I guess the fact that half of Gordy's cabinet gave up on him last week meant that it became kinda necessary. There were some shocks but generally the news was overshadowed by some, if not surprising, very different EU election results. Who stayed and who went?

• Ali Darling stayed. This was shocking because after all the, ahem, troubles of late his head was pretty much on a platter.


• Newbies include Alan Johnson (Homes Secretary) and Peter Hain (Welsh Secretary).


• Finally, Gordy got a bit of glamour injected into his life with the appointment of Sir Alan Sugar as Enterprse Tsar. Needless to say, the Conservatives don't like this one bit.

(click here to see a complete review)

Still Hating On Prop 8

On Tuesday the California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8. If you don't know what Prop 8 is where have you been?! aah well in short it's a ban on gay marriages in California, voted in November 4th last year, ironically, on the same day as Barack Obama, whose message as you most likely know was "change". Due to the highly famous community in Cali many celebrities have lent their voices to the cause, particularly since the controversial remarks of Carrie Prejean, Miss California USA, at the Miss USA pageant in April.

The most fascinating factor of the whole debacle, though, is the amount of difference a few celebrities making themselves heard can make. The piece of legislation probably wouldn't have been reviewed if it weren't for the increased focus placed on the issue. True, technically the review of the ban was due to three lawsuits, however it is hard to tell whether these lawsuits may have had as much power if the celebrity voice that encouraged them had so much influence.This was notable in the large and varied celebrities who attended the Anti Prop 8 rally on Tuesday night, following the supreme courts announcement.

(Copyright Perez Hilton/Unknown)

However, despite the disgust with which the decision was received it's hard to ignore the fact that Prop 8 was voted in through good old fashioned democracy, and by a clear majority. This will make it hard to overturn. It's also hard to tell whether, once the furore surrounding Miss USA, and indeed Prop 8 itself, dies down this issue will really be fought for publicly and vocally by so many celebrities, as opposed to those who it actually concerns - homosexual members of the Hollywood community.

For a video of the protest click here.

Expensive Expenses

You know what I'm like with journalistic trends....useless. So yeh I haven't written about expenses despite the fact this issue has been at a head for a over a month now. I kinda decided it was time for a catch up. And to ensure I gathered all the information in this one post (to save time...a LOT of time) I decided that i'd just extend award season by a few months and hand out the Awards for the most Expensive Expenses.

Award for the Best Denial:
Ben Chapman on overclaiming £15,000 on his mortgage "It is clear that I was mislead by the fees office into the arrangement in question". Uhm what?! What does that even mean?!

Award for starting a trend:
Sir Peter Viggers, who now famously claimed for a floating duck house. Description of said house? 'The Stockholm, is based on an 18th century building reconstructed in Stockholm. Its situation on a floating island is the ideal protection from foxes while giving its residents immediate access to the water.' Only the finest for an MPs ducks.

Award for most logical reasoning:
Shaun Woodward, Northern Ireland secretary, standing up for the common mans right to biscuits "I have just had a cup of tea in the green room getting ready for this programme, and there were biscuits next to the make-up tray. The BBC is funded by the taxpayer. Those biscuits were actually paid for by a taxpayer. I have, in my office, claimed for biscuits for my constituents. So my constituents should not have biscuits, but someone coming on this programme should?”

Award for most cheerful goodbye:
Anthony Steen announcing he would be stepping down from office "I've had a good innings, there is no bitterness, but as the saying goes, all political careers end in tears"


Award for most called for resignation:
Michael Martin, controversial Labour Commons Speaker, was expected to resign almost from the very beginning of the controversy. Of his role he said "We have let you down very badly indeed. We must all accept blame and to the extent that I have contributed to this situation, I'm profoundly sorry."

Award for most bizarre claim:
Another famous case is the cleaning of a moat, as claimed for by Douglas Hogg. I'm sure we all feel that the cleaning of our moat is an essential and everyday service, universally used.

Award for Biggest Political Casualty:
Well this one is pretty unclear. Until the next election we will not know if this issue will affect Gordon Brown's hold. Opinion polls suggest it might, however the issue is universal to all parties and so there is not really an 'innocent' leader to turn to. What is for certain though is that the next election is likely to become one of the biggest Commons overhauls since 1945, due to the number of MPs who have been affected by the scandal, meaning that parties will be forced to use 'fresh faces' to appeal to the voter.

The most significant development of the last week? The tide began to turn on the press that has been at the heart of the row and the man, John Wick, who revealed the details in the first place. This row is becoming more pandemic than swine flu!

Leave of Absence

I totally took one because exams have become my life. But I kinda totally have a break. So I'm back!

Week of Dramz

It's been a controversial week for Obama. He's remained silent on the whole Gay Marriage thing. Though he has previously stated he is against it (as a christian) the fact he is now being repeatedly and solidly quoted by the 'opposite marriage' community is making his position both awkward and uncomfortable as it is kinda unclear what his, well, current stance really is.

The prez has also had various troubles nominating his cabinet and administrative posts, with obvious examples of obstructionism getting in the way. The latest? His pick to run the Department of Justice's Office of Legal Counsel - Dawn Johnsen. The system is so backlogged with blocks to Obama's nominations that the Seante Majority Leader, Harry Reid, has suggested he simply cannot push through Johnsen's nomination.

Final controversy is possibly the worst. Obama has done a total 180 on the release of Iraq abuse pictures, choosing to block the release of the photos of abuse of prisoners in Iraq by US soldiers. The issue here, btw, is not that this is the wrong thing to do but the fact that it is the second time in a week Obama has gone against his own policy.

On a lighter note the Correspondents Dinner took place in DC this week with the great and good of Hollywood making the pilgrimage to attend the first of these dinners to be held by Obama. The man himself garnered giggles when commenting on Michelles 'right to bare arms'. She looked fabulous on the night

Cash Cows

The Bank of England are becoming addicts - they just keep injecting and injecting. Latest? £50bn more and extension of overall spending from £75bn to £125bn. They have to use this method of quantitative easing as it is virtually impossible for them to cut interest rates to any lower than the 0.5% they are at now. This follows the announcement earlier this week that the European Central Bank is cutting its interest rates from 1.25% to just 1%. The scheme of quantitative easing has come under a lot of attack in the UK since its introduction late last year, the most common criticism being that it is essentially 'printing money'.

A sign that the recession has really hit? Lorry numbers are in decline peoples! They fell 12% in the first quarter of this year. Although people like myself to find this headline tres amusant it is still kinda serious, showing that the industrial sector at least is in major decline.

A sign that the recession is getting better?! The service industry is on the up. So are these macro or micro changes? Up or down? Good or bad? Services or industry? Does this even make a difference?! no, really I need to know i have an economics exam in two weeks....

....and now I'm more confused than ever!

How To Look Good Naked

It's makeover time peoples! Who's up? Why, it's the GOP (just seeing that makes me laugh). Time for a timeline!

May 1st 2009 - Michael Steele once again became a big thorn in his party's side by telling moderates that they were welcome to his party, as long as they quiet their own view and fall in with the far-right party line. Image change? What image change?

May 2nd 2009 - Three major-league republicans (Eric Cantor, Jeb Bush and Mitt Romney) met at a Virginia restaurant for the first of a series of town hall meetings. Sound familiar?!

May 4th 2009 - Obama requested that the GOP start becoming more open to his policies. His hope for a bipartisan age have been slowly fading as only 3 republicans have voted for his major policies and one of those, Sen. Arlen Specter, ended up changing party allegiances entirely!

May 5th 2009 - Jon Ensign Nevada Sen. discusses the slipping fortunes of the GOP specifically the "litmus tests" that candidates wanting to represent the party had to go through. He suggested that this was making elections in the North East particularly uwinnable, as candidate simply did not appeal to voters.

I have to say the headline "GOP gives Palin the cold shoulder" did make me lol - although hypocrites much?! so what do YOU think of the image change? Will it work out for the GOP? Should Bristol Palin-style teen pregnancy and 'opposite' marriage be eliminated from their policies? or is there something else that makes them so damn unappealing?

NOH8

This warms my heart:

If you don't know what this is about which rock have you been hiding under?! And can I come join! These three beauty queens, including Miss USA 2008 (right) and Shanna Moakler, president of the Miss California pageant and former Miss USA (centre) are representing the NOH8 campaign, a Californian body aiming to overturn Proposition 8 - that is the bill that made gay marriage illegal in the state of California last November. Why is this issue relevant now?

This is Carrie Prejean Miss California 2009. On the 19th April she competed in the 58th Miss USA pageant. She ended up first runner up. This image shows her answering a question asked by celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton. The question?
“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalise same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”
Her answer?!
“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage,” Prejean said. “And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

The main criticism of her answer was not the fact she is homophobic (the answer does not suggest this but her statements since have). It was that she did not answer in a way that a winner of Miss USA should with Perez's suggested answer rounding up the overall view of those involved in the pageant.

But the most important part of the controversy is that it has resulted in a national focus on the issue of gay marriage in America resulting in multiple states legalising these types of marriage in the last week. This week a national vote was taken by CBS where 42% supported marriages for same-sex couples up 9 points from last month, 28% said same-sex couples should have no form of marriage at all, down 7 points and 25% support civil unions for the couples. Progress is change! In fact the Grand Old Party is even starting to recognise the damaging effect their gay policy is having on them - if that can change you know these times they are a-changin'!

You don't do something they complain...

....but you do it 'too quickly' and they complain even more! Poor Gordy unveiled a replacement to MP's second homes in the form of weekly payments for 'attendance' - rather like the payments some high-schoolers get for turning up to "learn". Lovely. But apparently that just isn't good enough. CamCam suggested Brown had had a policy 'U-turn', which although very true could be a bit extreme. He also suggested this made the proposal a 'farce'. This resulted in him requesting a lot from his Cabinet. Ditto with the extremity. The Commons Standards Committee has suggested that the PM could be pushing the vote through 'too fast' - what kind of a complaint is that?!

Another part of Brown's week-from-hell? His first major defeat as PM, over the right of Gurkha's, who have fought alongside British soldiers for centuries, to settle in Britain. Unbelievably for a Labour Government Brown's motion was to allow only restricted settlement to the Gurkha's, with the Liberal Democrats tabling an opposing motion that all Gurkha's should be allowed to settle in the UK. 267 to 243 MPs voted for the Liberal Democrat motion over the Labour motion with 136 MPs abstaining entirely - it is these plus the 28 Labour rebels that are the biggest embarrassment for the Government. However, although CamCam in particular is elated that Gordy has been so thoroughly embarrassed it IS the PM's first defeat. I'm thinking the Times headline "Will Gordon go?" is taking defeat a tad too far. My father's best advice ever seems kinda relevant now - 'I've failed constantly for the last 20 years. It'd be a bit weak for you to be defeated once.'

Finally a recommendation: Go see In The Loop! It's a spin-off of In The Thick Of It (btw if you haven't seen that either do it!) and shows every ones favourite officials, ministers and civil servants, all with a comedic edge, travelling across the Atlantic to mingle with their American counterparts, all with the careful veil of preparing for War. Think of it as a kind of Yes Minister for the techy generation. Sound good? It is and it even premiered at Sundance to great critical acclaim. We all now know what to do at the weekend!

'Flagdown' on Iraq

After 6 years the British presence in Basra and Iraq has come to a close. The Bush era in Britain is over!

On The Bandwagon

100 Days

Oh yes Obamarama has gripped the states for 100 days now and so it's time for every news outlet in the world (almost) to 'review' his term. I figure jumping on the bandwagon would be possibly the most boring thing I could do - so let's break it down in a different way.

1. The first White House kitchen garden was founded by Michelle. Recessionista? Check.
2. She also became the first person to be on the cover of Oprah's magazine 'O' other than the lady herself. The girl can override the desires of an egomaniac! Power to her.
3. The First Lady has a higher approval rating than her husband - 72% to 69%
4. Obama has made serious moves to improve healthcare for all - $19 billion if numbers are your thing -> directed at creating electronic record systems. These kind of achievements will go largely unreported, as the economy takes headlines.
5. If you haven't already - check out the Obama youtube channel. It already has over 21.3 million views.
6. Throughout his electoral campaign Obama was rarely seen without his blackberry. Persuading the White House to allow him to hold on to it, despite qualms about security, showed Obama's determination to be his own man.
7. Day 76, April 5th 2009 - Obama announces his desire to pretty much eliminate the threat of Nuclear Weapons with the immortal line 'As the only nuclear power to have used a nuclear weapon, the United States has a moral responsibility to act.'
8. Day 85, April 14th 2009 - Obama attends Georgetown University and delivers the most comprehensive explanation of his economic plans heard yet. Not just calming the worriers down: he also delivers it with charisma and style, as is his trademark.
9. This is scary.
10. This is scarier.

They Know You're Here

Oh yes today plans to track all the emails sent, all the phone calls made and all the Internet pages visited will be unveiled by my least favourite "feminist" Jacqui Smith. But of course the Government is cutting as many corners as possible and so a new database will not be created - that is meant to make us feel better how??

Now on to the big news of today - Cameron has finally done the complete 180 we've all pretty much been expecting since he came into office. He's gone all thrifty! Which means that, unfortunately, his speeches at Cheltenham Racecourse had slightly less ironic charm to them. He's also likely to kinda piss off much of his party. Smaller Budgets?! Hell no! And not scrapping the 50% top tax rate?! How dare he! However, this new drive towards economy and 'prudence' does seem, politically, quite the sensible idea. Two-thirds of the electorate, angry at the arrogant city bankers who brought the economy to its knees, support the top tax rate. The concept of focusing on tax-rates that affect the majority of voters seems relatively new age and kinda zany, and is making him look like a 'man for our times'. It is also notable that Cameron himself has pointed out that the tax would be very hard to scrap - in his own words he 'can't wave a magic wand'. It basically means the electorate is stuck between New Labour and the Conservatives, with controversy following both and many of their policies.


Bo the "goofy puppy" is settling in at the White House. apparently, that's about all that's happened politically in the US...like ever. So shall we go in for some facts??? Hell yeh!

1. Bo has had four homes in his young life!


2. Bo is six months old


3. Bo is a Portuguese Water Dog.


4. Bo is actually called Charlie

It makes you wonder why stuff like this isn't news over here.

The Rescue

OK so something I haven't really 'tapped into' yet is this weird/strange/freaky obsession with emo/punk-pop bands I have. Basically it's how this whole thing was named but that's another story. Back to the topic I was tweeting the other day and I just so happen to follow Pete Wentz bassist extraordinaire of Fall Out Boy. His latest entry had a url and since I have a weird and freaky obsession with both tinyurl and twitpic I clicked it. Like duh!

this is what it took me to.

Basically I'm not a charities person, like I'd go to Live8 and I'd have a laugh and I even think I'd believe in the cause.....but I wouldn't think it would make a difference. So for me finding a cause that makes me want to really really do something is a bit of a revelation. And that cause is Child Soldier's, more specifically the child soldier's of Joseph Kony (and the LRA) in Uganda.

This is Joseph Kony. In my opinion he is one of the most evil men to have ever lived and I think a lot of people would agree with me. He has terrorised central Africa for 23 years, with no gain apart from building up the myth that surrounds him. He kidnaps children from their beds and forces children to fight for him, and for causes that most have no knowledge of, and none understand.

Invisible Children started off as a film made by 3 Californian guys, Jason, Bobby and Laren, about the horrors they saw, and the inspiring people they met when they visited Uganda in 2003. The organisation has now organised several peace protests and have ended one of the biggest sufferings of the children of Uganda: night commuting.

Girls Night Commuting In Uganda

However, despite being in contact with the LRA and tireless peace talks, peace has still not come to Uganda, and the child soldiers still suffer. This weekend Invisible Children are organising The Rescue: watch the movie and get involved. Pete Wentz has also written about the issue. This war can end. These children can come home.

The Sun Is Shining

But life can still suddenly slide downwards.

You know that whole recession thing? And how it's so totally like looking up? Well....it's not in fact we're even more screwed than before. Let's evaluate!

1. In the last quarter the UK economy has shrunk 1.9% --> this is considerable in fact it's the furthest it has shrunk since the third quarter of 1979. This sucks, it means we are pretty much falling faster and further than anyone else. Karma for not suffering the 2001 recession? You betcha!
2. The quarter before that the economy shrank 1.6% which prompted experts to guess this quarter would result in a 1.5% shrinkage - which means we are falling past predictions. Not a good sign.
3. In the past year (March '08 to March '09) GDP has fallen 4.1%, the worst annual decline since 1980. The chancellor is borrowing a MASSIVE £175bn this year. He now predicts GDP will fall another 3.5% in the next year.

However it's not all doom and gloom guys because Darling has surprised everyone, experts included, by predicting that we will be in growth by the end of the year, will rise 1.25% in 2010 and 3.5% in 2011. Wonder how long that will last! I'm taking bets....

G Twenty

So a round-up of the event of the year....for the politicos that is!

1. The final figure set by our leaders to save us from the-end-of-the-world (recession)? 1 trillion dollars. This breaks down to:

$500bn for the IMF to lend to struggling economies

$250bn to boost world trade

$250bn for a new IMF "overdraft facility" countries can draw on

$100bn that international development banks can lend to poorest countries

IMF will raise $6bn from selling gold reserves to increase lending for the poorest countries

Source: BBC

2. Michelle Obama wore sleeves to meet the Queen. Many news agencies were fearing the worst.....
3. Although no major economic regulatory system was put in place at the summit, Obama admitting that America might have had a bit to do with the current crisis was enough to mean that Nicolas Sarkozy's seat was very much full. Oh joy.
4. Well one of them was gonna do it! The Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh actually asked for Obama's autograph. Awwww!

Finally, a class photo:

All credit to the huffington post for the photo. I cba to copy the names just click the link.....

I will say that Cristina Kirchner is my new heroine in so many ways. She works cream far better than poor Angela Merkel (who, let's face it, doesn't work much). Plus her tan is to die for. But her legs don't quite match up to the raciness displayed the Queen.....we've almost got knee!!

SHOW ME YOUR BUDGET!!!

Oh Obama dearest you do make me giggle! One of the greatest quotes of all damn time by a Prez was spoken at a Democratic Party fundraiser - oh yes the Dems are suffering due to THE END OF THE WORLD (recession) too! Seems that the Grand Old Party is beating down the Dems ass when it comes to fundraising lately so they brought back their fave mascot to help them out. Another classic from the conference = "One day I'm a genius; One day I'm a bum!"

This particular snippet is kinda true - the fluxtuations in criticism for Obamarama have been going crazy lately depending on what's en vogue.... the latest? - Obama relies too much on a teleprompter 'parently. If this is an affliction of his he's been passing it round at international events because every freaking world leader since Stalin has pretty much relied on help speech-wise! I vote the rep's include a vaccination plan for the affliction into their next manifesto.....Specially since Bush made absolutely no mistakes whatsoever during his speeches! Yeh nowadays Bushisms reflect the accuracy of his speeches! I personally believe that Barack is just being misunderestimated myself.
Anyways Letterman has an awesome take on the issue.

Finally the Chinese have been discussing the latest US report on the seemingly ever-growing power of their armed forces. Apparently, the less than kind words used in the report are making the two nations friendship suffer. Because everyone knows the US and China are the best of friends. Delusional much?

Who would've thought?

It's the 6th Birthday of the invasion of Iraq today!!! And we're still there......no, seriously, we should've found WMD's, got rid of the terrorists, created a new peaceful nation in the middle-east and withdrawn. But if it had all gone to plan maybe Obamarama wouldn't have swept the USA. And all these what-ifs make my head hurt! So let's instead examine what it's like in Iraq now in 5 easy numerical facts!

1. 179 UK soldiers have died in Iraq as of 20th March 2009. The most deaths recorded thus far were in 2007 where the death toll was 47.
2. It took just 20 days to topple Saddam Hussein's regime (9th April 2003) although President Bush did not declare victory until the 1st May
3. On the 15th November 2003 it was announced Iraqi sovereignty would be reached by 2005 - just 2 years away
4. It will take 18 months for US troops to leave Iraq following the announcement of Obama's withdrawal plan (as of 27th February 2009)
5. 3.1% of Iraqi households are "food insecure" (per the latest World Food Programme survey) a vast improvement on the previous 2005 survey when 15.4% was the figure

Iraq is a kinda mixed bag then (and I don't just mean Sunni vs. Shia.) The controversy surrounding it pretty much sunk two major world leaders respect, YET both got re-elected. Also let's not discount the importance of industrial developments. 94% of Iraqi's have Colour TV people's!!! And as we all know TV is the fuel of life.

Where have all the doom blowers gone??

This week has been majorly weird in politico land: we've heard pretty much nothing about the END OF THE WORLD (recession). Weiirrrdddd.....instead things seems to have gone rather yankish and domesticated - we care about ourselves! All this social loveliness has offered rather a distraction and coupled with the charitable theme of the week it's been a lil bit feel-good. Personally I think the sun helps just a bit too.

So shall we examine all these social niceties?

1. More of you can find out if your kids are in immediate and apparent danger. I.e. you can check up on why our legal system sometimes seems a little bit screwed! At least this society had the decency not to attack offenders. Child Safety = Good Times


2. The Experts have been staring at your bodies. They're worried. First things first a chocolate tax. Cos if it was a quid more expensive we clearly wouldn't buy it. Clearly an expert in only one subject area that dude.


3. Next up another expert wants to put a minimum price on alcohol. A minimum price on alcohol = a minimum price on fun times!!! Hells to the no on that! No worries though kids - the Government plans to oppose the idea.


4. Finally the misspending of our taxes gets more ridiculous by the day. I mean I love a good flower arrangement as much as the next girl but even so......

Finally I'm just gonna point out how freaking hilarious it is how Cherie Blair being hired to build the case against Fred Goodwin is headline news.....because, yes, she does actually do something that doesn't involve giving us T.M.I.

I love that they choose a picture that makes Sir Fred look so regretful. Still, it's better than looking like a hamster-human cross-breed programme that didn't quite reach its conclusion.